The Rainicorn-Dog Wars
by zelderon
Summary: The Legend of Joshua Book 1. "For thousands of years rainicorns battled dogs over territory in the Crystal Dimension." - Jake the Dog, Son of Margaret and Joshua


Nebulous ambient light darted around in the scintillating fuchsia crystals surrounding the small group of patrollers. The light from their crystal lanterns bounced off the walls and danced with the capricious reflections of the tense soldiers. The natural and artificial lights shifted colors, creating an ethereal spectacle of hues, but the ragged group could not enjoy these other-worldly sights. Every flicker of light drew the troops progressively more on edge. Their paws never left the hilts of their agate short swords. Arcane echoes flinched around the room. The group kept their eyes on the wall, ever vigilant for the tell-tale serpentine movements of the enemy.

"I don't like this Richie. We haven't seen any Corns yet and we been watchin' fer days," whispered a nervous voice.

"Oh Glob, did you hear that?!" Richie replied quickly and nervously.

"What? Where?" Tommy's panicked voice quavered and rose to a frantic pitch.

"It's your boingloings. They're saying 'Help, help. We're trapped in Patty's purse'."

"Shut up," Tommy punched Richie's muscular arm, "You've seen the pictures of the bodies! That's what corns do to their prisoners. Dice, cook and dump 'em off at the gates of Fort Russell. Or at least what's left of 'em. I hear they slow roast ya before they eat ya. Take parts off ya while you're still 'live. I'm tellin' you man, this don't sit right with my gut."

"Stop being such a pup. Back home we deal with those wolves. These rainbow freaks don't stand a chance 'gainst us."

"Yeah, well I still wish we had our lasers. Don't feel right trapsin' through enemy turf without 'em. I feel nakeder than a human."

"Both of you privates better muzzle yourselves or it's 20 Squirts for the both of you. We don't have lasers with us because they don't work on them. Didn't you learn about the Battle of Mineton in school? Need I remind you Private Thomas that you are a soldier in her majesty's army and need to conduct yourself as such." hissed Sergeant Johnson.

"_Glob give me patience with these new recruits_," thought Johnson.

The two friends quickly fell into silence and the party continued marching. Thomas didn't want to be there. He wanted to be back on his farm. He nervously rubbed his expansive paunch. He didn't belong in a military uniform, even if it did match his dark, reddish-brown fur. But when Richie and Joshua enlisted, he knew he had to. Someone had to make sure they didn't do anything stupid and he knew they wouldn't let him rest until he was dressed in brown anyways. But how did he get assigned to border patrol? Why did his drill sergeant think he had the bones to be on the front lines?

Sergeant Johnson couldn't help but agree with Private Thomas. She knew they were marching adjacent to occupied territory. With the recent increase in border raids, they should have at least encountered some sort of evidence of enemy activity. Corporal Mastin's scanners hadn't detected any shifts in the amplitudes or frequencies of the crystal lights around them. She wasn't sure if her new troops would be able handle the mission. They were already getting nervous and tired from their hyper vigilance. She wasn't even sure they could defend themselves if they were ambushed. She thought about the prismatic scar that colored her left side.

Johnson glanced towards Corporal Mastin's large frame. She knew she could rely on the old bulldozer if things started getting interesting. He had plenty of battle scars meandering along his weathered coat as proof of his experience. She still wasn't accustomed to outranking her old superior, and hoped he didn't resent being perpetually restricted from the upper officer ranks.

Corporal Mastin was fiddling around with his electromagic radiation sensor as the group marched. Each squad in the army generally only had one electromagic radiation sensor, so it was essential for the devices to be reliable. Mastin knew that vast amounts of effort went into their designs and manufacturing, and he had never encountered a defective unit in all his years of service. For some reason, his EMRS's scanning radius was greatly reduced, which implied that it was dangerously low on crystal energy. The rhodolite power sources they used in the EMRS units were supposed to last for years and he had just changed his before the mission. There must have been something wrong with the EMRS itself, but he didn't know how to fix it.

_ Of course they would never teach someone with a "kinesthetically-inclined breed" about advanced crystal technology. _

Mastin didn't notice how much time past as he attempted to fix his sensors. Johnson, Richie, and Tommy were occupied with visually scanning the crystal walls surrounding them as they moved through the Crystal Caverns. Johnson thought she saw an abnormal flicker of light as they rounded a corner. She hand signaled to Mastin and her four other squad mates. Private Stevens and Private Drums halted, but Mastin, Tommy and Richie continued padding along. Johnson started to hiss a command at her preoccupied team mates, when a sinuous form lashed out and speared Mastin in his left side.


End file.
